Furious Fan Boys

The 5 Dumbest Comic Story-lines

Comics are known to sometimes be nothing more than soap operas with thought bubbles, but sometimes the stories can get seriously ugly. Over the last fifteen years or so, there have been some real facepalm moments and below we point out the five dumbest story-lines in recent comics.

#1 – One More Day

Joe Quesada is a pox on the Marvel Universe and what he has done to Spider-Man is the proof. Even J. Michael Straczynski disagreed in what has decimated the Spider-Man fanbase and turned more people away from comics than any amount of variant hologram scratch and sniff glow in the dark covers ever could. One More Day is the storyline where Mephisto erases all memory of the Peter-MJ marriage, and is the dumbest decision anyone could ever possibly do with the Spidey books. This is why Joe Quesada is the Michael Eisner of comics. Bonehead move.

#2 – Grant Morrison’s Batman run

Second only to erasing the Peter-MJ marriage is making Bruce Wayne the love child of Alfred. Yup. Grant Morrison is nothing more than an internet troll who moves from comic series to comic series and epically trolls the fanbase right in front of their faces without them knowing it. The whole Alfred possibly being Bruce’s father is just the tip of the iceberg, and the upcoming “Batman, inc.” is the cherry on top of the stupid.

#3 – Grant Morrison’s X-Men run

See that picture of Xorn? That’s actually Morrison laughing at you behind the mask. Before Morrison trolled Batman readers, he did a real number on the X-Men. The whole Magneto-Xorn era is best forgotten in a comic run that has its fair share of stupidity. It hurts my brain just to think about it.

#4 – Onslaught

Nearly twenty years ago; one of the biggest arguments among X-Men fans was who theĀ traitorĀ could be. Gambit? Maybe. Wolverine? Doubtful. Jubilee? Hopefully. Nope. The “traitor” was actually teenage angst of Professor X and Magneto combined into a suit of armor right out of an Image comics one-shot. Onslaught really beat the crap out of comics in 1996, and if that wasn’t bad enough they had Jeph “I can’t write” Loeb and Rob “I can’t draw” Liefeld do a sequel ten years later.

#5 – KnightQuest

After DC killed Superman, and long before Grant Morrison really killed Batman, they decided that they needed a similar crossover for Bruce Wayne. So they had Bane break his back, which was actually pretty cool. The problem is that instead of having Dick Grayson watch over Gotham while Bruce recovered, they handed the reigns over the Azrael and the result was what people now call “Azbat”. He was a brutal Batman with a costume that is only out-done in terms of stupidity by the Scarlet Spider’s (c’mon, the Scarlet Spider had drawstrings around his neck – easy choking win for any villain).

22 Comments
  • Brad
    September 6, 2010
    Reply


    #1

    i seriously agree with “One More Day” arc being the stupidest storyline ever. I couldn’t figure out how anything in the Marvel universe related to Spider Man or the Civil War arc after that

  • ben reilly
    September 6, 2010
    Reply


    #2

    You forgot the Spider-man clone saga, the one whose stupidity trumps all of the above.

  • Bull Moose
    September 6, 2010
    Reply


    #3

    Really, that’s it? Did you simply run out of time to actually write anything of value other than “_______ sucks and is stupid?” You really are typical fanboys. Furious? Eh, you seem more pissy than furious.
    Even if I didn’t disagree with you on two of these, you could have at least put forth some effort. You could have actually presented an argument in an intelligent manner. You could have attempted to make a case. But instead you end up publishing what probably would have been better suited for the Newsarama forums. How does this further anything?

    • Sky Captain
      September 20, 2010
      Reply


      #4

      Word.!!!

  • exchange rate
    September 6, 2010
    Reply


    #5

    Seriously! The whole point of that story was someone was trying to slander his family. I don’t think this guy pays attention to the stories at all.

  • dj
    September 6, 2010
    Reply


    #6

    New X-Men? Really? Sit down, write a story, any story, put it next to New X-Men. Compare, mull, think. I agree with the other entries (Batman especially) but bloody hell you’ve gone fucking retarded

  • Daryl G.
    September 6, 2010
    Reply


    #7

    Wow. As someone who only read any of these comics in the late 80s to early 90s, this article is terribly written and really doesn’t say too much about what is actually “dumb” about the storylines beyond the first two entries.

    Who is Xorn? Why is he stupid?

    Onslaught? Traitor? Teen-angst? What? Again, the writer is too pathetic to even give a remarkably brief explanation.

    Azrael? Who? What is your beef?

    The writer is not writing this article for the sake of literature or discerning journalism, but more like talking about characters in a soap opera in a large group of people that are incredibly familiar with that soap opera.

    Stop writing, Jeremy Conrad. You are to crappy internet article what you apparently feel about the writers listed in this remarkably crappy internet article.

  • JT
    September 7, 2010
    Reply


    #8

    There was nothing wrong with Rob Leifelds art.

    And as others have say, Spider-mans clone era needs to top this list.

  • Henry
    September 7, 2010
    Reply


    #11

    Good article. All five of those were indeed dumb story lines.

  • Dumdi
    September 7, 2010
    Reply


    #12

    Anyone who doesn’t include the clone saga in this list knows nothing about comic books. That’s the problem with sites like this, anyone can write the “dumbest” list and pretend they know something.

  • Jordan Caplische
    September 7, 2010
    Reply


    #13

    “It hurts my brain just to think about it.” Perhaps suffer through the pain long enough to explain what you didn’t like about the story, you lazy hack. Get off my internet.

  • mikest468
    September 7, 2010
    Reply


    #14

    Grant’s problem is ” Shock Value” if he focused more content and telling a good story (JLA,Aztek) . Everything he’s writen in the last 10years ,would have to me retooled 8months after he leaves the title. I had to say ,but if us as fanboys stop buy his crap. We would not have to deal with him shitting on our favorite books every month

  • Scott
    September 7, 2010
    Reply


    #15

    I actually liked Grant Morrison’s “New” X-men run. There were some weird moments, but overall, it was all right. There had to be some much dumber story lines.

    Honestly, un-marrying Spidey and MJ wasn’t really that bad of an idea. The way they did it wasn’t so cool (mephisto?), but after the Civil War they needed to make Spider-man’s identity secret again.

  • Gabe
    September 7, 2010
    Reply


    #16

    What a stupid fucking website lol

  • mind
    September 16, 2010
    Reply


    #17

    Dumb stories. :)
    nice post. enjoy it



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