Hollywood’s favorite thing these days is to remake movies, and it seems like they have their sights set directly on the 80s and 90s to mine ideas from. Instead of championing original movies and ideas, it’s easier for them to remake The Thing, Fright Night, Total Recall, Red Dawn, and Robocop. Before they really get out of hand, there are some movies that absolutely should never be remade. Here are ten of the most sacred movies that should never be remade.
The Star Wars Saga
The Original Trilogy is called “The Holy Trilogy” for a reason. It’s what binds us, penetrates us, and holds the fanboy universe together. No matter how much someone may hate George Lucas, that’s no reason to remake any of the Star Wars movies. As entertaining as some “fan edits” may be, they show how badly a remake could mar the originals. Attempting to remake Star Wars should be a crime.
The Indiana Jones Saga
Almost equal to the Star Wars films are the Indy movies. One huge problem with anyone attempting to remake an Indy movie is that there is no way anyone except Harrison Ford could be Indy. So right away you’d have a casting problem when trying to remake the movie, and no one would be able to hit that magical perfection that Spielberg did with Raiders. Anyone who tries to remake an Indy movie will have chosen…poorly.
The Lord of the Rings
The fantasy epic fanboys had been dreaming of…forever. Even before the Extended Editions we released, cynical and snarky critics were already talking about how someday someone will make a new version of Lord of the Rings to fix whatever problems they saw with Jackson’s adaptation. The problem those idiots didn’t understand is that the making of the trilogy was such an epic undertaking in itself that it’s doubtful that anyone would be crazy enough to try it again, the movies became such classics that the public wouldn’t accept remakes, and the Tolkien estate didn’t even like the idea of movies in the first place; so it’s doubtful we’ll ever see anyone attempt to re-do LOTR.
Han Solo, Indiana Jones, and Rick Deckard. Harrison Ford will forever be king to all fanboys. Blade Runner is considered by many to be the greatest scifi movie ever made, and it very well may be. There’s no reason to even attempt the sacrilege of remaking this movie. A Ridley Scott-helmed sequel is fine, like with Prometheus, but trying to remake Blade Runner would be an insult to the perfection that was created in 1982.
Highlander is already being remade, with Ryan Reynolds as the title character. Such a remake must be stopped at all costs. It’ll never be able to match Sean Connery as a Spanish Peacock, and anyone who thinks that any musical group could ever even dream of matching Queen’s classic score is so crazy they should immediately be institutionalized.
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