This just in…Freddy and Jason are still dead

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Mania.com is reporting that Platinum Dunes producer Brad Fuller is hacking to pieces any rumors that new sequels of A Nightmare On Elm Street and Friday the 13th are in the works.

Brad Fuller has sounded off on his most frequent question by telling his Twitter fandom the following message:  “I want to set the record straight on Freddy and Jason,” said Fuller. “Shannon and Swift wrote a great script [for a Jason sequel]. We are ready to go, when new line is ready. But as of yet, they are not ready.”  He also says there’s not even talk of another script being written for a Freddy sequel.

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And now the analysis of this news…”Good.”

For the love of God, please let it go. Usually, I wouldn’t even think twice about a story like this and certainly wouldn’t take up my time posting it or your time reading it.  This time, however, I felt compelled to take this opportunity to ask you in the Hollywood community to please stop it. I know that the chances of hitting a good original storyline are slim to none and you don’t really care.  I know that to do another one these movies is one of the easiest pieces of film you can possibly do outside of filming a fruit bowl.  But please…put down the camera and slowly back away. You’ve done enough damage.

Over the years, Hollywood has taken iconic characters and turned them into shadows of their original forms, all in the name of getting out the next movie.  Case in point: Back in 1998, the movie Halloween H2O came out. I though “Do I dare hope? Could the fact that they somehow talked Jamie Lee Curtis into doing it help matters?”  I went to a showing and ended up sitting next to some guy who was in his late 20’s, like me. We were the only ones in the sell-out crowd above the age of 20. It made me feel a little creepy. During the film, while the young’ens jumped out of their seats at every little thing, my new found friend and I were laughing…out loud. It became quite obvious that instead of decent writing, a story, actors (other than Jamie Lee Curtis), directing, editing, special effects, etc., etc., etc., they decided that the best thing would be to just throw some fake blood on it.  And yes, it looked like the stuff you get from Wal-Mart every Halloween for your kid’s vampire costume.  That is when I knew that a person who grew up seeing the original Halloween, A Nightmare on Elm Street, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Hellraiser and others, will never see quality horror again. Oh there have been some brief flashes of inspiration.  Saw was intense. But due to it’s popularity, Hollywood decided that the reason it worked is because you get to see extremely graphic torture scenes. “Yup, that’s it. More screaming and more blood. That’ll do it.”  Horror is dead, ladies and gentlemen.

Now, after running out of any original ideas, they’ve turned their sights on the last pool of lasting, original writing on the planet…comic books. There have been some bad misses to be sure (aka Batman Forever, Ang Lee’s Hulk), but many of our beloved heroes have not only been done justice by the filmmakers, but also have managed to re-define the industry. Spiderman, The Dark Knight, Iron Man, the list goes on.  The problem is, like the classic horror movies, I feel that dark presence creeping up on me. It’s that feeling that we are yet again approaching a Hollywood that will do anything to puke out the next movie, believing that simply slapping a superhero’s symbol on it will sell tickets. I just would like to ask the powers that be to stop for a second… breathe… maybe do some yoga… then ask yourself “will this make people want to wet their pants instead of getting out of the ticket line?”  If the answer is no, then maybe you should rethink it.

You’ve destroyed one genre of my youth…please don’t do it again.

Sorry for the rant. Thank you for your time. You may now return to your regularly scheduled program.

FURIOUSFANBOYS Writer
FURIOUSFANBOYS Writer